WHAT NEXT????
When the days seem dull, the nights go sleepless, the future uncertain, the situation not in our control and when everything we plan for life goes wrong we are stranded with one and only one question “WHAT NEXT?” I am sure many of us have faced this question and will continue to face this question till our death. The same question but the situation different each time. Do we have any answer for it? Will we ever have any answer for it?
Is this what keeps the life going? When 1 step of life is achieved and even before the success is thoroughly enjoyed the same question raises again “what next???” Is it the reason for our survival, the reason for the increasing demands and the reason for dissatisfaction in career in my case??? Even before I finish one work the mind starts working on the next thing to be done.
May be the desire to do a lot of things in this short span of life gave birth to this question amongst us. May be the desire to be in the top league in this rat race gave birth to it.
Is there any end to this question in our lives? Is death the only answer???.....................


-SNEHA NAIK

जाने कहाँ गए वोह दिन............

ज़िन्दगी भी पता नहीं कैसे मोड़ लेती है, पता ही नहीं चला कब बड़े हो गए और कब वक़्त गुजर गया/ वो वक़्त भी क्या था जब चंदामामा की चांदनी में माँ की हांथों से निवाला खाते थे और अब एक वक़्त ऐसा है जब खाना खाने तक ही फुरसत नहीं मिलती/ अपने बचपन के चंदामामा से मिलना तो जैसे सपना हो गया हो/ पता ही नहीं चला कब ज़िन्दगी के इस भागम भाग में इतना खो गए की अपने ही ज़िन्दगी के छोटी छोटी खुशिया हमसे दूर होने लगे/ सूरज का डूबना और चाँद का उभारना तोह पता ही नहीं चलता और दिन कब रात में बदल गयी यह भी तोह नहीं दीखता/ न सूरज का उभारना जानते है न दिन का ढलना/ ज़िन्दगी के इस हेरा फेरी में कुछ ऐसे खो गए है की ज़िन्दगी के उन हसींन लम्हों को जीना तोह चाहते है पर वक्त नहीं रहता/ ऐसी ज़िन्दगी ही क्या जो हम अपने लिए अपने दिल को खुश करने के लिए वक्त ही न निकाल पाए? एक पूर्णिमा की रात जब घर से बाहर कुछ काम से जाना पडा तब चाँद की चांदनी ने मन को कुछ ऐसे मोह लिया की नज़र हटाये न हट सकी/ उस रात एक अजीब सी खुशी का एहसास किया/ वोह ख़ुशी जो बचपन के हर रात को सुहाना कर देती थी आज बड़े अर्जे के बाद महसूस कर रही थी/ शायद यही ज़िन्दगी का नियम है खुशी तोह देती है पर लम्बे अर्जे के लिए नहीं/  हर पल यह एहसास तोह कराती है की हमारे इस ज़िन्दगी में खुशियाँ तोह है पर उनका आनंद उठाने का वक्त नहीं/ एक पल ज़िन्दगी में ऐसा था जब चाँद की चांदनी और तारों की सुन्दरता सारे दुःख हर लेती थी और सुकून की नींद सुलाती थी और अब एक वक्त ऐसा है जहाँ हर रात बिना नींद के गुज़र जाती है पर अपने उन रात के साथी दुःख हरता की याद ही नहीं आती/ ज़िन्दगी के इस भागम भाग ने हम से सब कुछ चीन लिया हमारे साथी, छोटी छोटी खुशिया पर फिर भी हम कुछ नहीं कर पाते/ क्या यही ज़िन्दगी है? शायद हाँ या शायद ना पर वक्त तोह जुज़र्ता रहता है और ज़िन्दगी भी तेजी से आगे बढती रहती है यह ना सोचते की हम उस रफ़्तार से आगे बढ़ भी रहे है या नहीं? काश वोह बचपन हमे कुछ पल के लिए लौटा दिया जाए ताकि हम इस पल के सारे दुःख उस चंद लम्हों में भूल जाए और फिर इस ज़िन्दगी के हेरा फेरी में लौट आये............काश ऐसा हो पाता/काश.....................


-स्नेहा

LIFE…………
My solitude always questions me about the life I live. The highest form of the animal kingdom possessing the brains but still my solitude never left wondering “is this life really mine……!” The creator The super power plays the game and we the puppets in his hand play according to his moves. “Is this really the life I had wanted for myself?” not very sure if this was what I wanted the constant failures, the regular sidetracks I had to follow was not what I wished for my life. He is the one who decides I guess as even after our struggle we land up doing something else we like it or not thinking He has decided a better thing for us..
Do I take the decisions of my life??? Not really. Then why did He make us the superior with the brains, giving the ability to think and analyze the situation. He decides even the people in our life. Relative come to us by default but friends-do I choose??? People come play their roles in our lives and go and we keep waiting for them. He gave us this life to live but I guess He wants to enjoy a short play of my life for certain duration and then bring to an end…. Am I on this land only to play according to Him??? Am I the only troubled or the extreme thinker or many feeling so? My questions unanswered every time but still my solitude poses a new question each time. Why is it that we come onto this land, live and go? Do we atleast have a moment where we decide something for our life? Atleast one decision of our life is really ours. As elders say its all written we just have to play our part??? Is this true??
Does He enjoy the differences among people? How does He remember the different natures of so many people on the earth? If He has created the land then why is He destroying like this with natural calamities? Does He love all his people equally? Then why are a few troubled with no food to eat and water to drink and a few enjoying all the luxuries of life? Is this what He wants his own creation to face?
My solitude still questions me “is this your life that you are living or just playing your role in the play????”

-SNEHA NAIK

THE PERENNIAL WATER’S…………………
Any river or for that matter any water body that flows without getting dries for ever is called the perennial water source. Tears- being the perennial water source of our lives. Tears share a very special relation with us. The best companion for lives as like other human companions never demand any attention but share all our sorrows, grief’s, happiness, anger and all forms of emotions.
Tears- a silent source of entertainment, the eternal pacifiers of life. They express our feelings more clearly than our words as words can be hidden but one can never hide their tears the more one tries to hide them the more clearly they are visible to everyone. Tears are the feelings, which the words cannot express. The tears flow as the string of pearls and along with flow all our sorrows, helping us to move out of the helpless situations and provide the strength and encouragement to face the ground reality of life. The tears as they flow teach us the lesson that life s not just to sit and cry but also to face the life as it comes. Even when we are happy, they flow off even without our notice. No matter we remember them in our happiness they still relieve us of all the pain.
They possess the magical power to relieve the heart from the sorrow, grief, pain and all other emotions, which no one else can do in our life. They share all our feelings and pacify us by there silent words saying, “no matter what we are there for us to support you in all your Endeavour’s when the whole world might be against you.” Tears mark the sign of birth and death. It’s the crying of the newly born that marks the entry of life in this world and the sorrow of the others in the form of tears that marks the end of one life in the same world. Some people try hard to hide them and do not let them flow. Just let your tears the string of pearls to flow and see the magic they create. They flow off and leave a sense of satisfaction, sense of being, and sense of happiness in life. Did the creator create them only so that they can help his creation the human beings in all situations when no one is there for them rather when they are unable to share their emotions with anyone? Thanks to Him for giving the beautiful companion for our lives with whom one their share their feelings yet they do not demand a share in our happiness and don’t bother if we do not involve the in our happiness…

-SNEHA NAIK

STRANGE…….BUT TRUE

A strange incident happened in my life the one unforgettable incident. It was during my graduation. The common hangout for us was the gokul chat bhandar near our college Osmania University College for Women. One could sight the gang of girls from our college near the place often. My group of friends was among the many groups who loved to hangout near the chat bhandar. We were the disappointed lot when the chat was closed stating the hygienic conditions. One fine day it reopened and then we decided to visit the place the same day. But because of some reasons couldn’t visit. One fine day the moment was too perfect for a chat. That evening it was raining heavily and what a better moment than a rainy day to enjoy the hot and spicy chat and that too from gokul chat bhandar yummy mouth starts watering even imagining that situation. It was too perfect for a chat. But that day we wanted it to stop raining as it got very difficult for us even to move about in the rain. We for that day were very sad as the rain played the spoil sport spoiling our happiness and the fun we wanted to have. Returned home unhappy for we always tried to find happiness for ourselves in such small occasions and had lost one occasion. Some time later we got to know about the bomb blasts that had occurred at the lumbini park and the gokul chat bhandar. That shocked me personally a lot as I had been around that place about an half an hour ago and with such short duration such a great incident happened ruining many families, snatching away a father from a daughter, the only brother from a sister, a wife from her husband. So many relations lay ruied in those remains of the chat bhandar that remained. I didn’t understand whether to feel lucky for the rain has saved my life or cry for so many people though not related to me who lost their lives there. May be that was the moment when I felt the presence of a super power. May be a moment to thank my stars. May be a moment to thank my destiny. We were the lucky lot who survived the or rather missed death in just a few seconds. If we had been there only to satisfy our taste buds may I would not have been here narrating the incident. A strange happening but very true. Some times when I just imagine what if I had been there and a cold shiver runs down my spine. May be it was a game god played with me but I have many complaints though he had saved my life that day. Why did he have to take so many lives for no mistake of theirs? Why do innocents have to die in any of the terrorist attacks? Why? When will he answer my questions? Not very sure whether I will find any answer but still……

This incident occurred almost a year ago. The chat bhandar now runs happily might have earned all the profits it had lost during those days but what about the families who lost the bread winner-the one who nourished the family?

Many incidents as the one I had experienced were written in the news paper. Some who had been to lumbini park escaped the blast there only to loose their lives in the gokul chat bhandar……..the most sad but true experience. I thank god for he saved mine and my friend’s lives. This statement is my selfish side may be I am happy that nothing has happened to the people I know, but feels very bad when the thought of others comes up. What if I had been there? Why did god have to kill so many innocents????

--SNEHA NAIK

THE SMILE…………….
One fine night went to sleep at the usual time but could not sleep as it was raining outside and the child in me wanted to play in the rain but could not go out as it was too dark to step out. The empty roads, the drizzle visible because of the light rays of the street light, the gentle breeze and the wet leaves dancing to the tunes of the breeze made a spectacular joyous moment. It filled my heart with happiness. I sat at the window enjoying the scenario, didn’t feel like sleeping as I would miss the beautiful moments with the nature if I slept. Wanted the moment to stay for ever, didn’t want the sun to rise, wanted the dawn to wait till I could enjoy those moments unto satisfaction but as the nature brings this beauty to me even reminds me that the day has to rise and work to begin. Suddenly I felt as if I was sitting on a sea shore, the same drizzle, and the silent tides that brought the sea waters along with them cleansed my feet and returned back to the sea. The feeling of a soft touch by the water brought a smile on my face. Never felt a need for a second person between me and the nature. Nature always has something new to present and that feeling brings joy and happiness. I was sitting there alone at the shore enjoying the beauty. Then I saw a person walking towards me wearing a sweet smile. He spoke to me so gently that the words fell on my ear as music. I sat there listening him speak as his voice was as soothing as that of a koel. We walked along the shore, that person knew so much about me but I knew nothing about that person. I didn’t even bother to know about that person, was walking along with that person listening to his musical voice and felt so connected to that person. The words spoken by that person taught me the way of life. Suddenly that person was out of sight. Searched for that person every where near the place but in vain. The other people there had not even seen that person. I sat there with a gloomy face thinking who the person was and repenting on my foolishness that I didn't even try to know the identity of that person. Suddenly I heard some one calling out my name, was elated thinking that the person was back but it was my mother who was trying to wake me up as I was getting late for work. Never realized when I fell asleep but it was just a dream. Each and every moment of that dream was afresh in my mind, how much I tried but could not forget it. The whole day I could not concentrate on work, but was thinking who the person was who was so kind to me, could not recollect the looks of that person but for the smile. All my efforts to recollect about that person went in vain. When ever I think about that person only his smile resurfaces, just the words and the beautiful smile- the smile that could vanish the sadness of the others. Smile nothing but smile still stays afresh in my memory..
-SNEHA NAIK

I WISH I COULD GO BACK IN TIME [:(]
How the time passes by we don’t even realize and the time spent is just in our memories. I take along with me very beautiful memories of my graduation. The first day of my graduation did not have a very good impact on me, as the day was spent searching for the class rooms not knowing the direction to it. But later we started loving it as the distant rooms and the huge campus gave us a reason to miss the starting few minutes of the class without being scolded by the lecturers. The huge campus and the beauty mesmerized us from the very first day. The first year was spent knowing and exploring the campus. In the second year we all became very good friends and finally the final year, we all had to depart. Did not even realize that we spent three years together but the day had come when we had to part ways with different dreams and goals.
This is a short but a very memorable journey of my life from an under graduate to a graduate in “OSMANIA UNIVERSITY COLLEGE FOR WOMEN”. The college had something new in store for us every day. It was never a routine. The classes and the lectures were the same routine but still the environment in the college was afresh every day. We had our share of fights among friends but they were never remembered by us. We had spent such beautiful moments together that those petty fights even remembered were laughed off as our silly behavior.
There is so much to tell about the university that I fall short of words every time I think about it. The beautiful DURBARHALL, the more beautiful architecture, and the huge chandeliers that, when lit present a spectacular view, and a feast for the eye of the observer. We had a few classes in the durbar hall but I don’t remember having listened to any classes there. I guess I had spent all the time observing the wall decors not in very good condition though but still very beautiful reminding of the interior decoration of those days. The entire hall is made of the wooden planks, the master mind of the people of those days, the wooden planks could be opened to capture any one who invaded and they would directly land in the jails underneath.
The EZRA HALL, the auditorium of the now Women’s college built in the memory of the princess EZRA. Behind the Ezra hall the graves of many soldiers lie, the one location people dread going after 6 in the evening. The way after the graves takes us to the ROSE GARDEN not visited by anyone, as the way is full of grass and one doesn’t really understand the presence of a snake if any among the grass. There also lies the miniature of the DURBAR hall not in a perfect state though. But this was not the first things we noticed on our college. We first discovered the shed we call “ADDA” near the chemistry department and canteen. This is the common place for all the students of the biology stream to meet and while away time doing nothing most of the time.
Our first adventure in the college was to reach to the top of the durbar hall taking the broken parapet and the narrow steps. With little fear of falling and lots of thrill we reached the roof top. The view that awaited us was the beautiful city of the Nawabs, the whole Hyderabad city could be viewed. It was indeed very spectacular and the most bewildering experience. Got scolded later for it but the memory of it lie still fresh in our minds. The way was later closed for the fear of the students falling, but I was one among the lucky few who got the opportunity to reach out to that place. The next adventure was to go to the graves behind the Ezra hall may be at around 5 in the evening. Having read about the history of the college in books we went out looking for many places in the college. The few worth mentioning are the secret way to the Golconda Fort and the Dog’s Grave. We could find out the secret way but didn’t venture to go there and the way remains unused from a very long time and may be breeds many species of animals.
We all have heard about the presence of the snakes but longed to see one and we got the first opportunity near the zoology department where the snake was found ‘coz there was a frog lying dead near the department. We were so thrilled to notice the first snake in the college and even more thrilling thing was that it was the cobra a deadly poisonous snake. There was one incidence were the snake had entered the class room and that room was named the snake room by us and for a long time did not enter the room for the fear of snake. Actually it was just one reason for us to avoid the boring lectures. One incident I could never forget is the finding of a snake in the class room and the one opportunity we would never miss to bunk the class. The snake was actually hanging on the room, one of our friend’s calmly informed us that there is a snake in the class and we all jumped on the benches not realizing that it was actually above our heads and not below. We all created a hue and cry over it only to miss the class and our sir asking us to calm down and not panic so that he can take the class. Poor sir never realized our idea over it. These were a few encounters with the snakes. A few encounters even with the monkeys. They opening our bags for the lunch boxes. We always had to be on a check during the lunch hours for the fear of the monkeys. One other incident was we shooting a video of the sir teaching a lesson to us but we, unaware of what he was teaching were busy capturing the video and had great fun later imitating the sir.
The natural habitat it is for a variety of animals, the greenery everywhere, the evenings spent there under the trees, we never felt like returning homes from there. Sit there in the cool breeze doing nothing but still never felt like move on from there. It felt as if we never needed anyone sitting there, an encounter with ourselves and nature, the nature solving all our problems.
And on our way out of the heaven is the lover’s rock called so in the history of Women’s college. Each day a new memory, each memory worth remembering. One cannot forget the beautiful time spent in the college and the friends making it even more special. I feel it is one life time memory we the students of that college can never forget.
Many may find it too exaggerating but, for me it was the unforgettable journey of my life and I wish I could go back in time and re-live all those moments again………..

Finally I request all my friends from the college to add any other aspects I forgot to mention if you happen to read my post.

SNEHA NAIK