DESTINY.....

I have been wondering whole of my life what is destiny...don’t I plan my destiny? Whenever we face a failure or our thoughts do not become reality for us, people try to calm us down saying “May be this is your Destiny" how true is this? Many of the sleepless nights I have had trying to find answers for my varied innumerable questions this was one of them. Why do we try to escape every time when we have to face a failure? Why doesn’t He give us the courage to face the failure? Why don’t we stand up for our actions? Why is our destiny given the disgrace for bringing a failure in our life? Trying to find solutions for many such questions but I don’t drive to any conclusion.

Destiny, fate are they just for our satisfaction or true facts? Did He write so many stories a different story for every living being? What is destiny- my future? What is my fate- the story of my life? Do the lines of our hands really speak about our future, our destiny?

I started blaming rather satisfying myself thinking this is what destiny is during my intermediate days. I did work hard to fulfill my mother’s dream of seeing me as a doctor. But I guess I fell short of the interest as I never dreamt being a doctor. I took interest in biology during my tenth and hence landed up taking BiPC. Till then I haven’t even chalked out a career for myself but, blamed my destiny for not making me a doctor. Never thought whether I was interested in it or not. Next landed up in OUCW, never had dreamt in my wildest dreams that I would land up in that jungle one day. But that place turned out to be heaven for me. I had the greatest moments of life there but, never ever thought of thanking my destiny for that beautiful life. Then came the next phase of life for my MSc. Was unable to convince my parents for letting me attend an interview for integrated PhD. They convinced me saying that was not my destiny and hence you couldn’t go but the fact that I had failed in my attempts to convince them. Then why blame my destiny? It did give me an opportunity which I couldn’t utilize and started blaming my destiny.

I have learnt to stand up for my mistakes. I no more want to blame my destiny for the situation I am in. I am responsible for all my deeds and I am ready to accept it. Now I am a happier person sensing that it was my fault but, found and easier way of blaming my destiny. Thanks to my friend (aki) for this realization. The regular chats we have had and the depressed soul I was all these days, I am no more of that kind atleast trying to be. Thanks to all my friends who had to bear with my depressing stuff (special thanks to aki and trish)

-SNEHA NAIK